Hi friends,
Tomorrow I turn 43, and what I asked for this year was simple: solitude.
In this season of life, our home is full in the best ways—young kids, activity, noise, movement, constant togetherness. And while I treasure most of it, I have also learned that sometimes what my heart craves most is quiet. Stillness. Space to breathe. Space to think. Space to simply be.
So tomorrow morning, my family gave me one of the loveliest gifts I could have asked for: time alone in the mountains of Colorado. I'm deeply grateful for that gift. But I also know it is more than a gift for one morning. It is an invitation to come back to myself.
As I reflect on this birthday, I keep circling back to three things:
First, for most of my life, I believed belonging and acceptance were somehow tied to sameness. I spent too much time trying to figure out who I needed to be in each situation to “earn” love, approval, and a place. But I am slowly learning that belonging does not require homogeneity. We do not have to be the same to belong. There is space for all of us to bring our unique perspectives, and great value in embracing diversity of thought, experience, and background.
Second, I am realizing how deeply I want to live from a place of authenticity. Tomorrow, in the quiet of the mountains, I want to reconnect with myself—the real me, the me who is still becoming. The sometimes-silly, BBQ chip-eating, sports-loving, prank-puller, deep-thinker, nap-taker, adventure-seeker, question-asker, me. The whole me. Not the curated version. Not the version shaped by fear of not being liked. Just me.
And third, I am struck by how this kind of solitude may be a gift to my family, too. Because when I spend time remembering who I am, I return more grounded, more honest, more present. Maybe one of the best gifts I can give the people I love is to keep becoming more fully myself.
So tomorrow, I will walk. I will listen. I will breathe. I will let the mountains hold what my busy life cannot always make room for. And I will give thanks—for 43 years, for the love that made space for this morning, and for the ongoing work of becoming who I truly am.
Jen