I don’t know about you, but the upcoming holidays have me feeling a mix of emotions. Magical anticipation, fluttery excitement, and nostalgic sentiment, of course. I love all the rituals that make the holidays so magical—
the food,
the music,
the movies,
the gatherings,
the gifts.
But I’m dreading it a little bit, too. There’s been enough bumps along the road of my life that every bit of nostalgia can also drum up heartbreak.
The gatherings can exacerbate unsolved tensions.
The memory-making can make me miss memories past.
It’s an emotionally-charged time of year, in good ways and hard ways, and I wanted to get that out there before you had a single second to think you were alone if the holidays make you feel complicated, too.
You are not alone. Not even a little bit.
I especially wanted to send this email to those of you who may be holding a heavier load this year. Maybe you lost a job,
or a relationship,
or you’re walking through a health diagnosis that puts everything in a different light.
Maybe you’re craving something or someone, and the holidays shine a bright light on that yearning.
You’re on my heart right now. And I wanted to share an important concept that’s taken me a long time to grasp. Maybe it can help you out, too.
What We’re Learning This Month: Grief Isn’t a Problem to Fix
Something we’ve been thinking a lot about is the difference between physical pain and emotional pain.
When you break a bone, you get:
-
a clear diagnosis
-
a clear plan
-
a predictable timeline
But when your heart breaks?
There’s no emergency room.
No cast.
No protocol.
No language.
It can feel like something is wrong with you — when in reality, grief is evidence that something was deeply right.
As Susan David says: “Pain is the price of admission to a meaningful life.”
This doesn’t minimize the hurt — it simply honors it.
Grief isn’t a malfunction.
It’s a sign that you’re fully alive.
With love,
Jen
