Hi friends,
I'm good at some things.
I'm good at making new friends and telling stories. I make a pretty great iced latte, and I'll happily challenge anyone to a game of pickleball. Thanks to my kids, I've also gotten surprisingly good at Uno, Monopoly, and… well… patience.
But there's something I'm not very good at…
I'm not very good at doing hard things.
I tend to choose the easier path. The less painful option. The route of least resistance.
Lately, I've been reading more about the brain—especially its ability to change and adapt based on what we do (and what we avoid). And one idea has really stayed with me:
This might be a really important time for me to start practicing doing hard things.
Stay with me.
It turns out that consistently doing hard things actually changes our brains.
Stanford neuroscientist Andrew Huberman often talks about this. There's a part of the brain—the anterior midcingulate cortex—that strengthens when we choose effort, discomfort, and challenge. In other words, the more we practice doing hard things, the more capable we become of continuing to do them.
Forgive me for a quick dive into neuroscience, but this is genuinely worth understanding. The anterior midcingulate cortex (aMCC) plays a key role in effort, persistence, and self-discipline. It helps our brain evaluate whether something is worth the effort and pushes us to follow through, especially when a task feels difficult or uncomfortable.
In many ways, it functions like a “training center” for willpower—becoming stronger when we lean into challenges, and less active when we consistently avoid them.
So, when we choose to wake up early for prayer or meditation, move our bodies after work, have a hard conversation with a friend or family member, or even check off those remaining items on the work to-do list at 4 pm when we really, really don't want to, we're doing more than “being productive.”
We're growing our resilience.
We're changing our brain.
We're actively enhancing our ability to handle hard things.
And it's not just in our heads, it's backed by real data that proves that resilience isn't something that we're born with.
It's something we can practice! It's something we can improve. Resilience isn't like height or hair color; it's a trait like courage or kindness that every one of us has access to, no matter our circumstances, age, or stage.
To be honest, this is music to my ears. I believe deeply in every human being's ability to grow, change, and heal.
So, will you join me? Let's start small by doing something hard today.
Let's clean something we've been avoiding for months.
Organize that drawer or linen closet.
Finalize that work email that's been sitting in drafts for days.
Pick up those weights we've been meaning to use for months.
Our brains will thank us for it!
If you want more resources to help tackle the harder parts of emotional growth and healing, we've got you covered. Explore our Foundations Journey here to begin a structured process of discovery and healing, guided by professionals.
In it together,
Jen
